MFA proposal pre-catharsis
When would I talk about all what I do to comply and how much I suffer because of it? As much as I want to kill Hydra, it’s just one head at a time I can defend myself. There is always another head regrowing on this beast about to devour me.
Since I was asked, without too much of an ask, to post every week in this blog, it became an obligation. And I don’t do well with those. I dislike having to comply. Lowering my head and obtaining permission to breath seems to be much more difficult to me than pouring my soul into almost impossible quests that will demand all my attention.
I am interested in this conformity. Not only because it allows me to explore myself, but because it talks about those laws we have to obey. Obedience or not, there is a law.
I have a bit more than a problem with authority. Some ten years ago, when I came to China, someone told me “a hippie, like you…” and it was surprising. It made me reflect. She was right. I am a hippie.
To ask why I came to China is to ask why I am eternally dissatisfied.
I work with robots because they are creatures of imagination. I feel comfortable with them because they are difficult to understand. Sometimes I can control them, but sometimes I can’t. I think of them as if they have a personality that emerges in that exact moment.
Being a cog in a machine is not an option. Is not something I choose. It’s what I see. I can be angry at this contraption society is. I can be full of rage against it. But that doesn’t change the fact that I am still within it.